The Life and Times of Tenten: a Kunoichi
by GirlCrushonAli
Summary: Tenten's story as she goes through kunoichi life, starting with her interaction with her friends. Each chapter can be read as stand alone, but they'll be connected. Eventually maybe a NejiTen with Sasuke thrown in for fun. R&R, please!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Training with Neji

"Neji, stop being an ass!"

In a rare moment of clarity, Rock Lee was yelling at Neji Hyuga, his usual teammate.

Neji, being the talkative soul that he was, responded with his usual, "Hn."

Lee didn't roll his eyes at the antics of the Hyuga, but instead responded with his typical zeal and enthusiasm. "Yosh! Neji! How can you behave in such a manner with regards to the youthful flower of our team?"

Ah yes, that 'youthful flower,' one Tenten of no last name.

Neji tolerated Lee's asinine phrases with his usual stoic face and chose to not acknowledge Lee at all. He instead walked away toward the said 'youthful flower' to continue his training under her exceptional accuracy.

Lee was left staring after the other boy, silently pondering just what action a fellow Leaf shinobi should take in such strange circumstances. Fortunately for one not used to thinking too much about complicated things like love, Lee's idol quickly appeared to dispel his protege's trance.

"Yosh, what is troubling you my youthful student?"

A quick, "Gai-sensei!" quickly dispelled whatever oppressive cloud hung over Lee's head and he responded with an equally zealous, "The unyouthful actions of my teammate, Gai-sensei!"

The conversation that followed was of course extremely entertaining, but difficult to follow with the punctuated comments on youth, flowers, and springtime. The general idea was that Gai-sensei, or the Green Beast of Konoha, warned his protege to avoid the problem faced by Hyuga Neji. Lee of course, the ever intelligent boy that he was, listened intently to his father-figure's words, and then followed the 'youthful' advice of his mentor. In this way, Konoha was saved a lot of needless destruction from the taijustu fight that would have ensued, but Hyuga Neji received a reprieve on facing his undesired feelings directed towards his ignorant teammate.

"Neji, you're a bit slow on your left. I know that you were injured on your last mission, but try to keep up, please." No one else in Konoha would have had the nerve or the ability to speak to Hyuga Neji like Tenten. She was the only one that he tolerated from their age group, and certainly the only non-ANBU that had the courage to consider criticizing him. Hyuga Neji might have mellowed with his ascension into adulthood, but his still had a notoriously bad temper. Several jonin were injured the last time that anyone cared to piss off Neji, and besides the two men's details of the events, it had taken a team of genin an entire day to fill in the crater left from what could _loosely_ be termed a Kaiten.

Neji refrained from answering Tenten in any way, but she was confident that he heard her. His left sided Juken did mildly improve, and she acknowledged the advancement with an additional hail of senbon. Extra difficult to dodge projectiles from Tenten were a sign of improvement. She wouldn't try to kill her teammate, after all.

The two ninja moved as an extremely fluid and efficient pair. Their little spar resembled a dance in several ways that both were unwilling to acknowledge. Rock Lee had once commented on their "youthful grace" and "perfect synchrony" and had been sore for two weeks from the several kunai that the usually calm Tenten had managed to lodge in his extremities. Tenten hated being compared to a dancer. She was a fighter kunoichi, not some weak little waify thing better suited for seducing than battle. She could kick most of the male populace's collective asses, and she did not need her teammates seeing her as something fragile and delicate. She had no desire to hear about grace or synchrony between her and Hyuga Neji either. He was her sparing partner, sure as hell not the second part of a dancing pair. (She failed to think about how it reflected on him when others commented on their little "dance," as he had the respect that she was still working hard to earn.)

Just as Tenten yanked on the chakra strings that would pull _all_ of the weapons that she'd managed to chuck at the Hyuga prodigy in the prior spar, Susuke Uchiha stepped out of the woods surrounding Tenten and Neji's training ground. Hyuga Neji had obviously spotted him some time ago, as his Byakugan was activated, but he wisely chose to ignore the newcomer in favor of avoiding the _many_ sharp and pointy projectiles that were suddenly careening toward him from all directions. He could not, however much he might wish otherwise, ignore the hollered jab from the Uchiha prodigy. "Don't forget to duck, Hyuga!"

Yes, Uchiha Sasuke was an ass, and in the biased opinion of a pissed off Hyuga Neji, a bigger one than any _loyal_ Konoha shinobi had the right to be.

Neji thankfully had the tact to not respond to the glib remark, but it did distract him enough to receive a small tear to the left sleeve of his robe. Neji was a stickler for perfection in his appearance and of course noticed the slight blemish as soon as he stopped spinning from his perfect Kaiten.

He stared at the tear with his Byakugan activated. To anyone else, he would appear to be glaring at the slit, but to the two observers who knew his blood limit well, he simply looked like he _might_ be focused on the robe. He could be staring at something straight out of the back of his skull with his near 360 degree vision.

"Tenten," Sasuke acknowledged with a small quirk of his lips. "Ready for your real training?"

Tenten was not one of his fan girls and did not glomp him for his minimal acquiesce to her skill, but she did appreciate the attentions from one of the top shinobi that would ever come from the Leaf.

"Sure, Sasuke," she said betraying their familiarity, "most everything's gathered up now, so just give me a minute for sealing." She even graced him with a smile before she removed the two scrolls at her back and did exactly as she said.

Neji meanwhile was still staring at his robe but was now fingering the hole in a way that to Tenten obviously betrayed his extreme annoyance. Neji hated the Uchiha, and Tenten was not ignorant of his distaste for her newest partner, but instead chose to ignore it. She needed to be strong after all, and sparing with the same person every day just wasn't getting her there. She was grateful that Sasuke, even if he was a bit of a freak, had taken an interest in her. She shifted the tento on her back to a move convenient position. She'd be using it along with her swords in just a minute, and her summoning scrolls would be ignored while she battled the 'former' traitor.

Tenten was set to depart with the last Uchiha when she noticed Neji still hadn't deactivated his Byakugan. Whatever was bothering him was obviously more serious than she anticipated if he planned to watch she and Sasuke leave. Hell, with his skill he could probably even watch them battle with their swords from this position to over a kilometer away.

"Just go ahead, Sasuke. I've forgotten something. It'll just take me a minute."

Sasuke didn't comment, as seemed to be the usual pattern with her training partners, but he did have the decency to quirk an eyebrow in curiosity. He knew that she was lying and would probably question her at an inopportune moment during their future spar. That was how his devious little genius mind worked.

Tenten immediately turned to the Hyuga as soon as Sasuke turned around (he wouldn't look back), and waited for his reaction.

She didn't speak first, preferring to wait for the two stupid geniuses (four if you counted those geniuses of hard work) that she seemed to attract like fly paper.

Neji stood up slowly and waited until the Uchiha was out of hearing range before speaking to his teammate. Neji had no desire to be overheard and chose to keep his Byakugan activated even while looking directly at Tenten. It unnerved most everyone, but thankfully his long-time teammate was used to the gaze of his freaky eyes.

"You're training with him again." He just made an observation, but only Neji Hyuga could make little phrases like that sound like accusations. Fortunately for Tenten, she was used to this too, and didn't really care.

"Yeah, he and I are working on our kinjutsu together," Tenten explained it carefully, knowing fully well that she was being condescending. Neji already knew this fact, yet she made her words sound as if they were the first time he'd heard them.

"Hn."

'Great,' Tenten thought to herself, 'I will have to be the one who explains his feelings for him . . . _again_. Can't you just say what's on your mind, Neji? Why do I always need to put it out in the open. You know what you're thinking better than I do. You just wanna force me to puzzle it all out.' Luckily, Tenten really did understand her teammate better than anyone else.

"Stop feeling insecure, Neji. I'm still training with you. I'm not going to stop. You need me." That last bit certainly got his attention. He was doing that squinty eye thing that meant trouble.

"What's that look for, Neji?" He didn't respond, but did at least loosen the tightened muscles around his eyes . . . marginally.

"I know that I'm the only one that you really like to spar with, Neji. I'm not dumb and neither are you. My weapons are a great match for you. I get it. You dodge projectiles moving fast than is possible for human limbs, and you get to practice against _a lot_ of potential treats at once. Plus, my weapons were and still are the best way to work on your Kaiten. I get it all, and I'm not going to just up and leave because you're not as useful to me anymore. I'm still going to help you, but I've got my own training to work on too."

"It's better to have a moving target to practice on than just logs." Neji was obviously feeling the need to point something out that she gained from their relationship.

"I'm sure that Sasuke or any other jonin would be happy to get some easy training for avoiding well . . . everything that I throw."

"Hn."

"God Neji. I'll be back tomorrow. I'm just not spending _all_ day training with you. Go train some more with your relatives. It wouldn't be the first time that we worked apart while you practiced with them."

"Hn." His eyes were still scrunched up in that way that signaled annoyance.

"You can be as frustrated as you want, but this situation isn't going to change. Snap out of your funk." Tenten didn't yell at him, but her voice had taken on a lecture-like quality. Neji really needed to learn to talk about his own feelings. She didn't like nor want to voice them for him.

He didn't reply, so she decided to make her swift exit. "I'll see you tomorrow." She didn't bother to look back at the Hyuga. If she had, she would have noticed that his eyes were still trained on her, and if she had been graced with a Byakugan, she could have watched him watch her until he was gone from her sight.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Training with Sasuke

Sasuke Uchiha was an ass. Everyone in Konoha knew this to be true, but everyone still seemed to love him despite this flaw.

Sasuke Uchiha was also not an idiot and knew about the admiration from essentially all of the Konoha civilians, and most of the ninja, but he just faced it all with a cool indifference. The last Uchiha just didn't care. He also didn't give a damn about anyone in the village except for a _very_ select few fellow shinobi, but no one seemed to care about that either.

His "cool" and "hip" attitude as Rock Lee and his sensei would proclaim seemed only to earn the people's interest.

Fortunately for Tenten, she was not impressed with his attitude. He and Neji were far too similar for any of his 'coolness' to affect her.

Thus, when she arrived at their current training ground to find Sasuke Uchiha leaning casually against a tree in a pose of repose, Tenten didn't swoon or even really take a second glace at him. She merely stated, "Let's get started already. You had an extra ten minutes of prep time. What were you doing instead? Just slacking off? How unlike you."

Sasuke sauntered over toward her in that way that declared that she wasn't _really_ worth his time, but he would humor her. Thankfully, Tenten _knew_ that the Uchiha respected her, otherwise he wouldn't have initiated these little sessions. Anyone who disrespected Tenten got a quick lesson from the ordeal in weapon's usage.

Tenten was the first to draw her weapon, even if she only took a quick assessment of the blad. She was the one who truly worshiped the steel, Sasuke was foremost a ninjutsu specialist. Sasuke merely saw his weapon as a means to beating the shit out of people from a little distance. Tenten saw more beauty and grace in a simple katana than Sasuke had ever seen (or more likely acknowledged) in his life.

Sasuke had attacked first yesterday, so Tenten figured that he'd wait all day for her. He never really asked or said anything about his training, and Tenten, much in the same way that she worked with Neji, was forced to puzzle what he wanted out of his _extremely_ few hints. Sasuke would wait all day for her to strike first if he had charged her the previous day. He obviously wanted practice with both scenarios.

"Left!" Tenten called forcing Sasuke to dodge in that direction. Tenten hated silence, and she had to say something while striking at Sasuke. He very rarely initiated conversation, but when he did, the topics were always unnerving for Tenten.

Unfortunately for Tenten, today was one of those days when Sasuke spoke.

"Your Hyuga is pissed about something." Sasuke may have been similar to Neji for his silence and speech mannerisms, but his crude language had nothing in common with the Hyuga.

"You and Neji both manage to make comments that are supposed to be questions for me to figure out. Why can't you both ever just say what you want to know?"

"Hn."

"Don't even think about starting that with me. I haven't had to deal with you for almost ten years, unlike a certain Hyuga. His and my training might have prepared me for your attitude, but I don't have to take your behavior, unlike his."

"Hn."

"You're not going to get an answer out of me with just stupid sounds for responses. Jump." Tenten aimed a particular slash at Sasuke's head that actually meant that he needed to duck, but her random phrasing was meant to confuse, not assist him. For once, Sasuke minutely faltered and she managed to land a hit on his shoulder.

She immediately backed away to let the prodigy assess the damage. "Nothing too vital I hope, Sasuke? Just your pride?" Tenten said this with a smirk that would have made Neji proud.

The Uchiha however failed to see the humor in his weakness and instead immediately returned to a fighting form, shaking his left shoulder to dispel any lingering tingling. Tenten hit _hard_.

Tenten couldn't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, the two boys were jealous of each other. It wouldn't be the first time that the two geniuses acted like children, but Tenten couldn't see what would make them jealous. It would be flattering if the two boys wanted her weapon's training, but that really wasn't a reason to be jealous. Who knew with the two prodigies, though?

Sasuke seemed to have lost his calm facade after the last hit, and was coming at her a bit more violently than before. Neither of her training partners felt the need to hold back with her.

"You're not like Neji, though. You get emotional and then let that take you over," Tenten said in between parries.

"Your Hyuga doesn't get emotional?" Sasuke said as he scoffed at the notion, obviously skeptical. "And what would you call that little display back there?"

Tenten took a quick step to her left, avoiding a downward slash that might have lopped off her arm if she were anyone else. "Training was over. He wouldn't act like that if we were fighting. You lose your cool too quickly."

"No, I don't," he claimed as he made another vicious swipe at her side that she managed to side-step too easily.

"Yes, you do. You should've been more intelligent in your attack there, more calculating, but instead you are getting upset and annoyed and attacked faster, but dumber. I'm holding my sword in my left hand, so why would you attack that side? Go for the other."

Sasuke made a face remarkably similar to Neji's squinty-eye thing, and did just as she ordered. Unfortunately for him, Tenten had learned to swap hands extremely quickly and was near perfectly ambidextrous.

"See? You can't even think for yourself and are just listening to me. What's the point in that when I am your enemy? Try getting my back."

This time Sasuke didn't just immediately try to get around her, and instead he just kept at her front. Tenten had actually predicted this and almost laughed out loud at how easy to manipulate the 'genius' Uchiha was.

Their match ended after another five minutes when Tenten managed to swap her katana with her tanto and had the unfortunate Uchiha literally stabbed in the back.

Tenten immediately backed off, stepping away after just managing a hit. "You're gonna have a bruise there, Uchiha. Get your teammate to fix it if you don't wanna be slower tomorrow."

"I'm not slow," he said stepping away from her and storing his sword at his side.

"No, but I'm faster than you. Even if you did manage to copy Lee's speed for a time, your body can't _really_ move that fast. It's not suited for it."

"And you're an expert at speed?" Sasuke said moving toward the trees and shade. Sasuke had pale skin and standing under the sun talking would eventually turn him quite red. Even if he loved tomatoes, he didn't appreciate looking like one.

"I'm on Lee's team, by far the fastest guy in the village if you don't count Gai-sensei, who is actually _slower_ than him now. And I'm sure you've seen how fast the Hyugas move when their doing their Juken thing."

Sasuke acknowledged her point with a polite "Hn."

Tenten joined him in walking toward the tree-line, but she kept in the sun. She was probably the only brown kunoichi in Konoha thanks to her uncaring attitude. Vanity was not really in her personality. She didn't even think about her skin tone.

Sasuke sat down under a tree and whipped out two bottles of water from what Tenten could see was a simple sealing scroll. He said nothing as he tossed one out to his training partner. He wasn't breathing heavily, but he wasn't too proud to drink water during a hot day.

Tenten had endurance almost equal to Sasuke, but she had already been training earlier. She mumbled a simple, "Thanks," before guzzling down the water in a very unladylike manner and dashing off to refill it from one of Konoha's many water sources.

When she returned she wisely chose not to comment on the strange kindness of the Uchiha prodigy. He and Neji didn't appreciate a lot of fussing when they did anything nice.

"You know," he said actually initiating a conversation that wasn't meant to rattle her, "most girls would have been really weird if I gave them anything."

"Good thing I'm not most girls huh, Sasuke?" Tenten said with a simple smile as she leaned back on the ground, not caring at the dirt that was dirtying her white top. "That's why you picked me to spar with though, isn't it?"

"Not really. If you were . . . like them . . . but still could handle a sword I might have convinced you to work with me." She couldn't see, but he was staring at her with a bit of incredulity. Sasuke was also wearing white, but he was wisely sitting in the grass, adeptly avoiding any stains. He still cared about cleanliness and his appearance in a way that Tenten would definitely not approve of.

"'Might' would be the key there. And you wouldn't have come back after one time when I would try to kiss you or grope you or something equally perverted like that." Tenten really had no qualms about saying the truth. She really wasn't awed by the whole Uchiha thing. He and Neji were way too similar. They both even wore inconvenient white robes and managed to somehow keep themselves _clean_ during a sparring session.

"Hn." Sasuke obviously didn't care about her crude language enough to say anything in response.

Tenten rolled over and propped herself up on her elbow, staring at her partner. "So you'd still ask me to spar again if I jumped your bones during our sessions?" she said with just the right amount of incredulity and curiousness.

"I'm used to it," he said turning away from her and staring off toward the village.

Tenten burst out in very hard, very loud laughter and actually _rolled_ on the ground. Sasuke looked on with mild amusement and a quirked half-smile.

"That's _horrible_, Sasuke!" she managed to gasp out between her chuckles. "I feel so sorry for you!"

She stopped rolling and actually calmed down enough to look at him again. Sasuke noticed that her hair hadn't come undone and actually looked perfectly in place, even if it did have speckled spots of light brown earth scattered throughout.

"It's better now that everyone is a bit afraid of me." Tenten noticed the mild resentment in his voice, even if he didn't.

"Yeah, but that'll end as soon as the new Hokage is instated. _Then_ what are you going to do?"

"Barricade the Uchiha district," he said with a completely serious face.

Tenten immediately returned to her previous activity of rolling around the training ground.


	3. InterludeTenten and Tarot

Tenten and Tarot

"What's this one mean?"

Tenten didn't bother to look up from her favorite dish of sesame dumplings and instead answered with a simple, "It doesn't work like that, Lee."

Neji scoffed at the words of his teammates. He might have believed in fate once, but he certainly didn't place any regard in the little pieces of paper that Tenten had brought with them to their 'team lunch' as Gai-sensei called it.

"But they mean something, right?" Lee asked with his huge eyes staring at his female teammate.

Tenten finally took pity on the curious boy and attempted to explain the cards as best she could.

"It's a lot of guesswork, and it works best if you know a bit about the person. A fool or a queen can mean something different for everyone, even if they have the same _general _meaning. And if I do a reading then there will be reversed and normal, which also changes a meaning. Even what order I pull them in changes what they could be saying."

Neji was of course listening to the conversation, although he was trying hard not to show any interest. He certainly _wasn't_ interested in Tenten's silly hobby, but new information was always useful.

Lee's eyes took on that glazed quality that always managed to freak out nearly the entire population of Konoha. Neji could see where this conversation was heading. Tenten liked her little fortune telling hobby, and although Neji never placed any reliability on what she told their teammate, Lee _always_ asked and Tenten _always_ humored him. She'd end up doing some palm reading or star reading or something equally mundane for their enthusiastic teammate.

"Please, lovely flower of my team! Please, please, do a reading for me?" Lee had sprang across the table in the ensuing begging and grasped both of Tenten's hands in his own.

Neji tried not to think about the fact that only last month Tenten had read Lee's palms . . . for the fifth time.

"I don't know, Lee. I'm still working on getting this down." This caught Neji's attention. Normally Tenten jumped at the opportunity to play with her little 'skills.' Something was stopping her.

"Please my youthful teammate! Share your knowledge! If you do not tell me my future, then I will be forced to run 100 laps around Konoha on my bare knuckled fists!" Tenten made a face of absolute horror.

Lee had her now. Tenten didn't really like the antics of their two crazed teammates, but Neji knew that she didn't want the Green Beasts exerting themselves. And that last proclamation really sounded insane.

"All right, Lee. Just let's finish eating first, huh?"

"Yes!" Lee said clutching his hands into fists. "I will surely finish faster than you and wait with my patience of youth for you to finish!" Tenten and Neji had been trying to teach Lee about waiting lately . . . and his lessons seemed to go well if they tossed in the words 'youth' or 'beauty.'

Tenten slowly finished her dumplings, much to the impatience of their teammate, who then proceeded to clear the table without waiting for their server. Neji considered it mildly impetuous and certainly inappropriate, but he wisely chose not to comment. He decided to patiently wait to listen to whatever nonsense Tenten was going to spill this time. Their sensei was still set to meet them at this establishment, after all.

"All right, Lee," Tenten began. "I'm going to give you the cards. It's up to you to shuffle them." Tenten pushed the deck across the table, but maintained her grip on it. "You need to think of a specific question, Lee. Think really hard about while you shuffle the cards."

Lee's face took on one of those silly serious expressions that he was capable of (it really was no different from when he was doing most anything really), and began to shuffle the cards. He didn't close his eyes, but shuffled the cards with more enthusiasm than was necessary, as even Neji could see that.

"It's not about getting the cards shuffled, Lee," Tenten cautioned. "Just shuffle them until you feel that it's right."

Lee continued to shuffle the cards for another five minutes. Neji could see that Tenten was regretting her decision already and was probably planning to call the whole thing off when Lee suddenly declared a _very_ loud and enthusiastic, "These cards are perfectly shuffled and I know that they will tell me whether I will ever win the heart of my beloved!"

Neji refrained from commenting, but Tenten needed to give further instruction. "Just cut the deck two times now, and lay each pile on the table in front of you."

Lee created three perfect piles between him and Tenten on the restaurant table, placed his hands in his lap, and gave Tenten his eager puppy look. Neji was certainly not affected, and instead wondered if Tenten thought about the mess that her cards could possibly become if they were exposed like this on multiple occasions.

"Perfect, Lee. Now I need you to tell me about your exact thoughts."

Lee seemed confused for a moment. It wasn't difficult to confound the Green Beasts . . .

Tenten explained, "You said that you want to know if you will win the heart of 'your beloved,' but were you thinking about Sakura-chan? Were you actually picturing her?" Tenten and Neji both knew about Lee's unhealthy obsession with the pink haired girl.

Lee had the decency to look mildly embarrassed. "It's just for the sake of your answer, Lee."

"We will do it again, and this time I will picture my beautiful Sakura-chan!"

Tenten made a quick lunge across the table and covered the piles before Lee could snatch them back up. "No, no, just leave it, Lee. Let's work with what you gave me. What were you thinking when shuffling?"

"With every single movement of these cards I was thinking of whether I will win the heart of my beloved, yosh!"

"Did you picture her or think of Sakura?"

Lee shook his head as his eyes got wider if possible.

"It's fine, Lee. Let's see what you got. I'm just doing a simple arrangement. I'm not really feeling confident enough to try something complicated."

Neji watched as she turned over the top cards on each pile, starting with the left.

"Past," she said flipping the first. "Present," and she turned the second. "And your future," she proclaimed revealing the last.

Lee and Neji both stared at the three cards, trying to puzzle out what exactly was on the faces. Lee was obviously more interested than Neji, but the Hyuga failed to hide his interest when he noticed how _strange_ the pictures on these cards were.

Lee had the graciousness to not burst into tears or something equally inane, which managed to surprise Neji. The cards certainly didn't look pretty that were before them.

Lee just gave Tenten a hopeful expression, silently pleading for her reading to continue.

Tenten stared at the cards for quite a while before she picked up the first.

"This is your past, Lee. Or more precisely, it could be that it's your past with this 'beloved.' And I'm pretty sure that your reading is not going to be about Sakura, but about you personally."

The card that Tenten held was a heart, but it had three swords piercing it.

"This," Tenten explained as she showed it again to Lee, "is the Three of Swords, also known as the Lord of Sorrow. Don't worry about what it means yet, Lee," she said noticing Lee's dejected expression, "just wait for the rest."

She placed the second card in her hand next to the first, but didn't stare at it half as long as the 'Lord.'

"This card has a few names, but it's The Page of Pentacles, sometimes the Princess of the Echoing Hills." She repeated the same action and showed Lee the funny dressed boy staring at pentagram coin in some sort of strange . . . hilly place.

Lee was entranced by Tenten's movements, staring at her hands with the same intensity that he showed his training. Neji tried not to scoff at the display.

"And the last," she proclaimed as she shifted her voice. Neji wondered if she did it for effect or if she really thought that this whole scenario wasn't just a bunch of silly superstition. "Is the Ten of Cups, the Lord of Perfected Success," she said sounding slightly less forlorn than when she declared the other two.

She again sat in silence after showing Lee the final card. It didn't really look like much 'success' to Neji. It had a few people staring up at a rainbow . . . it looked like something from a children's television program.

"So, Tenten, care to explain the future to Lee now?" She shot him a glare that managed to convey how seriously she was taking this little farce.

"Yes, Neji. I'm getting to that." Lee didn't acknowledge their little fight, but instead took the cards from Tenten's hands and just stared.

"Lee, I actually think that you did the shuffling really well . . . or something. I'm actually getting a pretty clear picture in my head."

Neji tried very hard not to make any noises—he didn't enjoy Tenten's angry glares—but he must have let some small sound escape because she kicked him under the table.

"The Lord of Sorrow is telling how your quests for your beloved have thus far been fruitless, Lee. Tears and conflict are all that you have found. He has another meaning too, and he's saying that the old is clearing away. It's leaving so that you can make room for something better."

Lee's eyes managed to get wider at Tenten continued.

"You can interpret that however _you_ want, Lee, but I think that Sakura's just not for you. I mean, it could be that she's caused you a lot of pain, but will later stop, but I think it's saying that there's someone else out there. The sooner you get over her, the sooner this new girl will enter your life."

"And you can see all of this, Tenten?" Neji said rather skeptically. It certainly _would_ be good for Lee to get over his little obsession with Sakura, but he found it highly unlikely that the cards were able to 'tell' Tenten this. He started to suspect that Tenten was just trying to humor Lee at this point, although she usually believed in the things that her little fortunes predicted.

"Yes, and be quiet if you're gonna be a jerk, Neji."

"Please continue, Tenten," Lee said diplomatically as he placed the first card down on the table with a lot more finesse than was typical of the bowl-cut boy.

"Your present Lee," Tenten said with a smile as she plucked the card from his hand, "I'm pretty sure that this is you and not your beloved. This page is meticulous. He's ridiculously hardworking and enjoys it. He's diligent, sometimes to the point of overzealousness. He's honorable, and proud, but not arrogant. I'm almost certain that this is you," Tenten said with a smile. "It could of course be that your beloved is insanely hardworking too, and in that case I _really _pity your children."

She was obviously trying to make light of the situation. "But since I think that it's you, Lee, it's also telling you something. I think that you're going to meet your beloved because of your hardwork. You're probably going to meet her on a mission, during training, or somewhere between those."

"What else does he do?" Neji couldn't resist asking. "Of course if he meets someone it will be related to his duties as a ninja."

This time two sets of eyes stared at him, mildly causing him to be taken aback. He was just stating the obvious.

"Quiet, Neji," Tenten warned again.

"And this one, Tenten? My future?" Lee asked replacing the card in her hand with a swiftness her barely caught.

Tenten smiled as she looked at it.

"This, Lee, is promise. It's lasting happiness and security. It's reputation, and honor, and friendship, and a happy family life. It's perfection and happiness. It's your goal for fulfillment achieved. It's security in what you find."

"Yosh!" Lee suddenly shouted unable to contain himself. "I will find perfect happiness with my honorable self and my honorable beloved!"

Tenten did not appreciate his outburst. "Hey! Who's doing the reading here, Lee? Wait until I finish."

Tenten wasn't Sakura and thankfully rarely struck her teammates, but Lee wisely chose to sit back down in his seat and his solemn look quickly returned as he waited for Tenten's final evaluation.

She smiled at him. "I think that you will be happy, Lee, but it's going to probably take a while. You're going to fall in love, but probably start off as friends. You'll probably even be happy as just friends for a long time. In the end though, you'll be perfect together. You'll have the family life that you've always dreamed of."

Lee's patience had apparently run out, for as soon as Tenten finished her last word, Lee was on his feet.

"Yosh! Thank you my dear friend, Tenten!" Lee was unable to contain himself any long and leaped across the table to hug his teammate. "Everything that you say will come to pass, and just to show my continued youthful devotion, I will do 5,000 push-ups before noon time until I am united with my beloved! Yosh!"

And with that declaration, Neji and Tenten watched Lee run from the restaurant to go do . . . probably those 5,000 push-ups.

Tenten and Neji sat in silence as she cleared away the cards. Neji watched her with a scrutinizing expression.

"Do you really believe that you saw all of those things from those little pieces of paper, Tenten?"

Tenten smiled at Neji, covering whatever emotions he managed to evoke in her.

"I don't lie, Neji. I hate lying. I just said what they meant and what I _think_ that it means for Lee."

Neji made a face like he had bit a lemon. "That's ridiculous, Tenten."

"Maybe, Neji, but we'll see who's right later, hmm?" She gave him a smile that made his stomach churn and heart rate increase.

Neji didn't have the chance to respond, as just at that minute they heard a familiar voice yell, "Yosh my youthful team! Where is your ever diligent and youthful teammate?"

Thus did Tenten's long and industrious career among the shinobi population of Konoha start as a _very_ accurate card reader.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Hanging out with Anko

Anko is, as she will happy tell anyone who asks, insane. She's one of the Hidden Village of the Leaf's several pariahs. It's her trademark and keeps people from bothering her. It also keeps people from trying to get close to her.

Thankfully, Anko doesn't really mind too much. She doesn't really like most people, and the greatest pleasures in her life do not include the people who are intensely afraid of her.

As such, Anko has very few friends, and even fewer admirers. Tenten is, fortunately for both the weapon's mistress and the village nutcase, not intimidated by anyone. She's surrounded by crazies already, so one more really doesn't bother her.

When Tenten arrived at her favorite dango stand, she didn't even remark on the presence of the special jonin.

"Lunch time?" Anko asked from branch overlooking the street.

Tenten smiled shouting loud enough for the specialist to easily make out her words, "Yeah. I just finished up training for the morning and I'm starving!"

Tenten happy placed her order for six dango sticks and walked over to the tree to join her friend.

"Training again with those brats?" Anko asked as she munched away on her own dango.

"Yeah. I think that they're getting jealous of each other, though. They're acting weird."

"Sounds like a stupid genius thing. You just attract them like flies."

"Tell me about it," Tenten said with obvious exasperation. The stand owner called her over and Tenten happily retrieved a supply of one of her favorite snacks. Without a word she tossed three of her own dango to the woman in the tree with a weapon's mistress' accuracy. You just didn't eat dango alone when Anko was around. You couldn't be sure what she'd do in retaliation.

"Thanks," the jonin said rather blandly.

"No problem. I know how you get about your dango. And you were one of the proctors for my first chunin exam."

"Heh, almost forgot that you were one of those snot-nosed little kids. You sure don't act like the rest of 'em."

"Sure I do," Tenten said not really paying much attention to the conversation. She really did like dango.

Anko stopped eating for a moment and actually deigned to look down on her favorite kunoichi of the new generation. "I know that you're not nuts, kid. Have you _ever_ looked in a mirror?"

"Every morning just before I leave the bathroom," Tenten said flippantly.

"Great, then you know that you don't dress like the other kunoichi."

"Well duh, I need flexibility and tightness in my form. I couldn't wear that stuff."

"Tell that to your little Yamanaka friend. And what about what I'm wearing, huh?"

"You're a special jonin," she said pausing as she stuffed her mouth with a couple more dango. "I don't think that you can compare the bunch of us newbies to you. No offense."

Anko, the esteemed snake mistress herself, was actually flattered by Tenten. She was of course not going to tell the bunned-girl this. "None taken," she said flinging one of her dango spears at the girl on the ground below. Tenten caught it without pausing in her munching and stuck the stick into the trunk without her eyes ever leaving her treat.

"How's the training with those newbs going anyway?" Anko asked with actual curiosity. She really did want to know about Orochimaru's other little apprentice. Even if she didn't exactly _hate_ him, she still felt a need to watch out for the brat.

"Training with Neji is kinda useless, but I don't think that he wants to hear that."

"Still got a stick up his ass, huh?" Anko said throwing another dango stick as if to emphasize her point.

"Maybe. He's just been weird lately. Lee even called him out on it. Called Neji an ass and everything."

"Gai's student called someone an ass? How'd he take that?"

"Gai-sensei was thankfully not there. I only heard because I was waiting for them."

"Oh, this is good. I can totally get Gai in tears over this," Anko said with a devious smile. She could already picture the waterworks. It'd be great . . .

Tenten, always one to defend her teammates, said nothing to provoke Anko. She instead tossed two of her own dango spears up the tree.

"Hey! Watch it. Alright! Jeese." Tenten said nothing and kept eating.

"So what about the Uchiha? He done anything weird lately?"

"Nah, he's just his usual broody self. I'm pretty sure that he's got his temper under control . . . er . . . somewhat. He didn't charge at me with his usual bravado today when I called him an emotional nutjob."

"That was your exact wording?" Anko asked skeptically.

"Nah, but something like that. He's getting better. Maybe."

"Or he's just getting used to you."

"That too."

They sat in silence for a for moments, finishing off the last of their dango. Anko relaxed against her tree, experiencing the stress-free feelings only possible in a place often frequented. This was her favorite dango seller, after all.

Tenten was meanwhile lost in her own thoughts. "You don't think that they're jealous of each other for other reasons, do you?" Tenten didn't want to sound arrogant, but it really was a strange situation. The boys _could_ be jealous of each other.

"They both want you, what's wrong with that. Just enjoy it. More practice for you."

"Heh, you're right." Anko scoffed in response. _Of course_ she was right. "I am really good with weapons. Neji just is jealous that I'm spending time with Sasuke and not him. Sasuke is probably annoyed that I still spend time with Neji, especially if training with him is . . . sort of pointless."

Anko didn't acknowledge that Tenten had misinterpreted her words. 'Let the girl think what she wants,' figured Anko.

"Sooo . . . wanna go play in the Forest of Death?" Anko asked already anticipating Tenten's answer. Anko happened to be one of the few with permission to enter _that_ training ground whenever she wanted.

"Sure! I've nothing else to do!" she said tossing her final stick into the forest. "I'm done with geniuses for today."


	5. Interlude Girl Time

"So what about your first time, Tenten?"

"Hmm?" Tenten looked up from her drink to look at the woman addressing her. It was the pink-haired girl from the year below her . . . Sasuka or something like that.

"Weren't you listening to me?" the pink girl asked sounding annoyed.

Tenten of course wasn't, but she couldn't very well acknowledge this fact. Gai-sensei had told her to "enjoy the springtime of her youth with other flowers of Konoha," so she was trying to do just that, dammit. Just because she really didn't give two shits about girly things didn't mean that her jonin-sensei had to try to force her into caring.

"Yeah I was, totally. I was umm . . ." Tenten tried to think of a suitable girlish excuse for her lack of interest, "staring at that cute guy over there." Tenten waved her arm in some general direction where she could see some males.

The whole group turned to stare where Tenten had pointed. Ino gaped first at the group, and then slowly turned to Tenten, the strange look never leaving her face. Saukura's eyebrows raised, but she managed a completely stoic look when she returned to looking at Tenten. Poor little Hinata had turned beet red and wouldn't meet Tenten's eyes.

"Oh shit," thought Tenten, "Who the hell did I point at?" She leaned to the side attempting to see beyond the two girls in front of her. They looked like perfectly innocent guys to her. They were tall, and had chunin flax vests, so she assumed that they were at least _somewhat_ good ninja. She really didn't care about anything beyond that. She couldn't disgrace herself with lusting after some old genin. _That'd_ be embarrassing.

The first of the two guys turned around and Tenten thought that he was fine. She wasn't sure what the girls were reacting to; he did have a weird scar across his nose, but lots of ninjas had scars.

"OK! Change of topic!" Ino suddenly exclaimed. "No more creepy Tenten thoughts!"

"Hey!" she said rather indignant, "What's so creepy about what I have to say?"

Ino and Sakura both answered, while Hinata just sat quietly.

"You just said that our teacher was hott . . ." Ino stated lamely.

"And earlier you told me that Hinata would make a hott guy."

Tenten wanted to defend herself, but she just didn't feel like explaining. She didn't actually think that their teacher was hott . . . he was just there. And so what if she did? That guy wasn't really _unattractive. _And she couldn't even remember him from the academy. And Hinata would look like Neji if she were a guy, so she'd totally be attractive! There was reasoning behind what she said!

Tenten decided to just try to return to whatever it was that they wanted to know earlier. "Whatever. What were you asking me . . . " Tenten drifted off as she had forgotten the pink girl's name again.

Tenten fortunately spent a lot of time with really _inappropriate_ people, or else she might have shown the shock that she felt with Sakura's words.

"I asked about your first time," Sakura stated with obvious annoyance crossing her arms and forming a

'girl-face.'

Tenten tried not to panic, and she absolutely refused to show weakness with these girls, so she clenched her drink and took a longer sip than necessary. She _really_ didn't want to have this conversation with fifteen-year old girls. . . and she was only sixteen, dammit!

"Umm . . . what do you want to know?" she asked without a hint of the uncertainty that she felt.

"I don't know," Sakura said as if Tenten were asking a stupid question. "What did it feel like? Were you upset afterward? What were the circumstances? What did your teammates say . . . ?"

Tenten's thoughts interrupted with a screeching, "What the _hell?_"

"And whether your sensei insisted on speaking to you. And what about your dreams afterward? Oh, and who was it? Where was the shinobi from? You know, that kind of stuff?"

Tenten tried to think rationally for a minute. Was this little pink-haired pervert really asking about her first time? She knew that her sensei was a guy with 'habits unfit for genin' according to Gai . . . but was she _really_ asking about what she thought she was asking? She _really_ wished that she could remember any of the previous conversation . . .

"Just play it cool, Tenten," she thought to herself. "Figure out what she wants before sounding like a buffoon."

"Why do you wanna know?" Tenten said trying to sound a little snide. Girls with experience did that to the younger ones, right?

"Hinata hasn't done anyone yet, but Ino says that it's horrible, but I think that she's just being a whiny pig." The pink girl _snorted_ and looked at the one one called pig _snidely_. What the hell? What was with these people?

"Ha!" pig-one exclaimed, "Wait until you have to do it, Forehead! It was terrible! I was freaking _inside_ a body when someone did it and it wasn't as bad as when I had to do it!" Tenten was bit lost in this conversation. Forehead had to be pink-haired girl, but this Ino-one what was with . . . _that_? And she was _inside someone else who did it? WTF? Gross._

Tenten was thankfully smart enough to recognize when a conversation was definitely going over her head, so she took the wisest course of action that she could under the circumstances—she asked Hinata what the hell was going on.

"Oh, Tenten-chan. Ino-chan can take control of people's bodies by being inside of their minds. Sakura and I well . . . we just want to know what it's like to kill someone."

"Oh, thank goodness!" Tenten voiced her thoughts out loud, causing the two pissed girls to turn back to her.

"Heh, killin' ain't so bad," Tenten pronounced relaxing into her chair. "I've done it _loads_ of times."

Hinata looked rather pale, but the other two girls suddenly seemed interested in her.

Ino looked skeptical, but Sakura looked ready to pronounce on Ino just to show how stupid she was, but then Tenten continued.

"The first time this Cloud-guy had Lee, right? So I was kinda annoyed, but I didn't let that upset me." Tenten grabbed one of the kunai from at her waist to finish her tale. "So I just grabbed my kunai and tossed it . . . " pausing for for dramatic effect, she tapped the tip of the weapon against the pink one's forehead. "And it went _right_ between the eyes! It was a perfect shot!"

Tenten then proceeded to pretend to wipe down the kunai. "It was a bit gross at the end, though. His head was hard too, so it'd damaged the kunai. When I plucked it from his skull it made this really weird 'shluch' sound, too. That was kinda gross, but I was more pissed about the crack in my kunai, though. I hate to buy new ones . . . and wait can I have that if you're not gonna eat it?" At Hinata's timid nod, Tenten stabbed her kunai into Hinata's leftover piece of chicken. Unfortunately for the other three girls present, it made a 'shluch' sound. "Just like that!" Tenten screeched in excitement as she proceeded to stab it again.

Hinata looked more pale than usual, which was quite a feat. Sakura looked mildly disgusted, but more horrified. And Ino had this terrible look like she was going to vomit, she was even holding onto her stomach.

Fortunately for Tenten, she wasn't really paying attention to them, but was more interested in her newly acquired chicken.

"So Lee was really freaked out afterwards, but Gai made him do a bunch of extra exercises, so he pretty much forgot, I think. Neji wiped the floor with that spider-dude, so I don't think that he really cared, but he did freaking annoy the hell out of me for his kinda-wanting-to-coddle-me later thing. Gai was like all 'springtime' this and 'youth' that and 'becoming an adult,' but he got over it all pretty quick."

She actually stabbed the chicken again with the kunai and ate it like a kabob. "But ya know, the worst part? I had to clean my kunai after. That was gross. It was freaking _slimy_. Brain matter is kinda like thick and pulpy juice. Blood isn't so bad, though. You know that already though."

Tenten looked at the three girls with a smile, perhaps expecting their nods of assurance. Everyone carried kunai, so surely everyone had needed to clean blood off once or twice.

All three of them shook their heads, although Ino's seemed to just be a bare movement of her eyes more than neck.

"Meh, it's not so bad, don't worry. Hinata here's been injured before. Tell 'em," Tenten encouraged, slapping said girl on the back.

Meanwhile, Sakura, Ino, and Hinata all silently looked at one another while Tenten continued to _gnaw_ on the piece of chicken.

"_NEVER AGAIN," _mouthed Sakura shaking her head.

Ino just enthusiastically nodded.

Hinata blushed, feeling awfully embarrassed on behalf of her cousin's teammate.

Tenten looked up and the three girls gave her practiced smiles; Tenten had no idea how uncomfortable she'd made the dinner. "Cool, this has been kinda fun," Tenten proclaimed to her audience.

"Wanna hear about my second time? That was pretty intense too. Neji, Lee, and Gai are great with single enemies, but they really _suck_ when there's a bunch of guys. This one time I got to take out _fifteen_ before they even got in the fray!"

Hinata, the heiress to the most prestigious clan in Konoha and the one with the most developed social skills, deftly shifted the conversation.

"Umm . . . sorry, Tenten. Let's save that story for next time."

Ino and Sakura silently thanked the girl and nodded their assurances.

"Sure," Tenten shrugged.

Needless to say, Tenten was never invited out by the again, and after a very stern _talking_ by the Yamanaka clan head, Gai never forced his kunoichi out for another girl's night.

And Tenten . . . well, she was eternally grateful for Ino Yamanaka's weak stomach.


	6. Chapter 4

**Hello. So I've never done an author note thing, so I figured that there can be a first time for everything . . . and I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Everyone else does it, Mom!**

**Hi, peeps. Sup?**

**So yeah maybe the characters are OOC, but ya know, it's how I like them. Tenten doesn't have a personality like at ALL in the manga, so that's kinda why I like to use her. In here I can mold her to whatever I wish . . . mwhahahaha. **

**Sasuke in this world gets dragged back . . . maybe I'll explain how in my lil' interludes.**

**He also has never actually _asked_ Tenten to train with him. It's just like one of those things TBD. Well, I know how I figured that it went, but just wait to see if you really wanna know.**

**Neji . . . ah Neji. He's cool and all, but he's a silent jerk. I have trouble even imagining dialogue with him, so most of the conversation I figure _must_ be from Tenten and that she has to figure out what the hell he is saying.**

**Sasuke is slightly more conversational, if only a bit sadistic too. **

**Thanks for the long review, Aquaheart! Please critique me some more! I'll try to work on setting . . . but I kinda like the OOCness to a degree. I'll try to fix it a bit, but this story is technically a humor . . . even if it is rather serious at times. BLAME NEJI AND SASUKE. It really did make me think! And for your review, Darkanonymous, Thanks!**

**Now, on with the story! (Not an interlude)**

* * *

Chapter 4: Meeting with Shikamaru

Shikamaru is, as he will grudgingly deny, whenever anyone can force him to speak, a genius. He's one of the Hidden Village of the Leaf's top strategists. Only his father has ever beaten him at shogi, even though he has never turned down an opponent.

Fortunately for the Hidden Leaf, although he is the laziest bastard anyone has ever met within the Fire Country, he does an excellent job whenever he is forced into missions.

Although he will avoid any assignments like they are a pox upon his person, Shikamaru rarely fails a mission. His genius is unmatched in Fire Country, and when he gets older and slightly more active (_maybe_) even he will admit that he might just be the smartest guy in the whole continent.

Shikamaru would probably be the least active shinobi in the Leaf, if he didn't have a slew of friends and one particular teammate who happily force him into action. As such, Shikamaru tends to avoid anyone except for his best friend, Choji. Unfortunately for him, Tenten's surrounded by three of the most active ninjas in all of the Leaf, and she enjoys missions. And pushing herself.

When Tenten arrived one early morning at the designated meeting place for her newest mission, she wasn't surprised to see Shikamaru, he was a jonin of excellent caliber and the leader of her mission, but rather felt annoyed to see him _sleeping_ at the village gate.

Thankfully, Tenten was also used to idiots and eccentrics, so instead of slapping or kicking him awake like Ino or Sakura might have done, she merely shoved him a few times while saying his name.

"Hey," she shoved him the first time, "Wake-up, Shikamaru." She shoved him again. "Wake-up. Hey. Get-up." Shikamaru wasn't a particularly heavy sleeper, but he was rather enjoying this particular nap. The troublesome Hokage had been forcing him into missions for _weeks_ now. He was quite ready for a good long trouble-free week of cloud watching.

"Hey, wake-up." Now if only his kunoichi partner would cooperate . . .

He opened one eye, immediately noting that at least this time he'd been partnered with the least troublesome kunoichi that he knew. The Hokage at least gave him choices on his partners. He couldn't stand being alone with any of the kunoichi for the next week.

He yawned before saying anything to even acknowledge her presence. At least she wasn't like his teammate and smack him for not bowing to her every whim. Maybe this last mission before he 'disappeared' for a week wouldn't be too bad.

"What's up, Shikamaru? Hokage got you working overtime? You're usually lazy, but not so much that you can't even be bothered to stay awake for your missions."

Yes, Tenten had very little in common with her fellow kunoichi. She wasn't one to get angry, throw fits, or even slap her teammates around. Although, he'd heard that she did occasionally pull Lee away from Sakura by the ear, he'd never actually seen her get out of control and haul off and smash someone's face. That didn't mean that she couldn't, though. Actually, the idea of an angry Tenten was kind of intriguing.

"Meh, Hokage's got me running missions for the past month. I just want to sleep. Troublesome." He started walking without further words, assuming that she would follow him through the gate. She'd surely been given the same mission report that he had. He didn't need to give instructions.

"That sucks Shikamaru," she said sounding not sympathetic, but more amused. "It's your own fault for being so useful. You geniuses are always on request. You're the only genius I know who complains, though. The others seem to love it."

Shikamaru could still hear her, so he didn't bother to turn around. That would take extra effort, and he never could be pushed to do something unless it were absolutely necessary. And looking at his rather normal teammate was definitely not absolutely necessary.

He was at least courteous enough to respond to his teammate. Just because he'd never seen her mad didn't mean that she couldn't get there. And he didn't want the only kunoichi in the village that he could stand pissed at him.

"Meh, they _want_ to be geniuses. Your crazy teammates are perfect examples of that insanity. I get tired even thinking about them." Troublesome.

Tenten smiled as she thought about her team. She loved them, but Shikamaru was right. Lee and Gai were absolutely nuts, and Neji wasn't far from it. The only reason that people didn't think that Neji too worked insanely hard was thanks to having the geniuses of hard-work as teammates.

"Yeah, they do." She continued to smile thinking about Sasuke. "All of our village geniuses like working hard." She paused and added, "Except for you of course."

Shikamaru leaped onto a branch just as they reached the treeline of the village. They could take the path to Wind Country, but he knew that the Hokage and Kazekage had been specific that this mission was to remain secret. Thankfully, he'd chosen the one kunoichi he knew that wasn't loud . . . or annoying.

"Meh, and those other morons who aren't geniuses; trying to catch up to those way above your level. Heh. That's stupid."

Tenten of course followed Shikamaru without a word, but she couldn't but feel a bit peeved. He didn't even look at her while speaking. Luckily for him, she knew that the genius really didn't care about social niceties in the slightest, but his last statement had sort of annoyed her.

"Lee and Gai aren't really geniuses. They just worked their asses off to become the amazing ninja that they are," Tenten argued with him. He sounded like the Neji of years ago and she didn't like that.

Shikamaru scoffed in a very Nei-like manner, "Lee and Gai not geniuses? Have you seen them open the gates?" Tenten had of course, as had Shikamaru on several occasions. "And I didn't say that they couldn't catch up to geniuses like your training partners, but that people who work hard like that . . . they're nuts."

Tenten couldn't help but laugh a bit. Shikamaru noted that it was obnoxiously loud, unlike the giggles of Sakura and Ino. She definitely didn't care about impressing him with her girlish whiles. He had a slight moment of questioning his choice in kunoichi, wondered if she could do this mission, but he found it too troublesome to ask her. The Hokage had enough confidence in Tenten to have agreed with his request. The old lady wouldn't have let him take the girl if she didn't think that the kunoichi could do it.

Thankfully after that moment of humor, Tenten seemed content to keep the conversation to a minimum. Shikamaru was not a conversationalist, and although Tenten enjoyed talking, coping with her silent genius training partners had prepared her for another genius who liked the quiet.

It took about two days to reach the town in Wind Country where their target was located. Thankfully for Shikamaru, Tenten didn't mind his silences and their company was very comfortable. Her conversation was light and always pretty friendly.

Unfortunately, he had estimated two and a half days to reach their destination. Tenten had taken over setting the pace on the second day, so he was quite tired and mildly annoyed, although not half as frustrated as he could have been had another, noisier kunoichi been partnered with him.

About two miles from their destination, they finally dropped down out of the trees. Tenten was the first to reach the ground, elegantly stepping off her branch and landing with an ease that betrayed her expertise in the air. Her techniques often had her leaping and practically flying. Shikamaru knew this, so he wasn't surprised.

He alternatively was a lazy ninja, and certainly not prepared to jump down thirty feet and use his chakra to save his rather scrawny self from slopping to the ground, much to his embarrassment. He took an alternative route, hopping from branch to branch before landing a few feet from his partner.

Tenten waited rather impatiently on the ground, trying not to complain to the genius. She was sure that he wouldn't respond to whining, and he was definitely going to come down at his own pace.

She could not however contain herself when he reached the ground, and commented, "Took you long enough. Guess you really do earn your reputation, huh?" She crossed her arms and gave him a look that was obviously meant to show her impatience. He, being Shikamaru, didn't particularly care, so he chose to say something else.

"Meh. Troublesome. We're here a day early."

Tenten looked at the genius and shrugged. "I like to go fast. Blame my team. And shouldn't we only be half a day early, Shikamaru?"

The lazy nin didn't really want to explain, but since she was his partner, he was sort of obligated. "Nah, I left half a day for our preparation. Now we've got a full day. Troublesome. What are we supposed to do for a full day out here?" His hands were in his pockets and he didn't feel like removing them or else he would have gestured to the forest that surrounded them.

He wasn't actually particularly annoyed. He figured that he could just lay down and watch the clouds for half a day, but realized that no matter how accommodating his current partner might be, even she probably wouldn't stand for his slacking off while on a mission.

"Well, you could explain to me what brilliant plan you've managed to cook up with that super brain of yours," she answered. He hadn't seen fit to reveal his plot for this A-rank mission the entire time that they'd been travelling. It was time that he brought her up to date on whatever he was thinking.

"Meh," he slumped down against the same tree that he'd so calmly jumped down. "Not much to tell. You read the mission assignment, didn't you?" It was actually a rhetorical question, he knew that the girl with him was competent.

"Yeah, but that doesn't really explain what's got you assigned to this mission. Hokage-sama doesn't just send you out for anything, no matter what you might be think. She picked you for a reason. And you picked me for a reason, besides my winning personality, of course." She smiled again and Shikamaru was reminded that Tenten was definitely the only girl that he could stand to be alone with for long term missions. She wasn't stupid, but even if she wasn't a genius, she understood others, even lazy bums like him.

She'd barely finished speaking before she proceeded to set-up several traps, creating a small perimeter for their talk. It wouldn't be good if the enemy found out what they were up to just because they needed to discuss the situation before entering the village. Even two miles away they couldn't be sure about this area.

Shikamaru meanwhile dozed off while his teammate did the work. He really was tired from the constant missions. The Hokage had been pushing him more than usual. He knew that she wanted him to think about ANBU. She'd been hinting at joining for several months. He suspected that this month's insanity was her method of showing what he could avoid as ANBU. ANBU were the Hokage's elite, and as such were reserved for the most important missions, meaning that they weren't constantly working hard. Actually, he was pretty sure that ANBU spent more time lounging about than chunins or jounins. Poor genins though were always doing some stupid C or D rank thing, especially if their jonin-senseis were strict enough.

He awoke from his short nap with a stretch, discovering that the forest was even quieter than he remembered.

"Took you long enough," he heard his teammate's voice as he turned to her. "I was going to wake you soon."

He noticed that the sun had definitely shifted, as it was now peaking through the trees and glaring right into his eyes, so he rolled over to face his new favorite person. He was surprised that she'd allowed him to relax.

"Thanks for letting me sleep," he mumbled uncomfortable with the courtesy. No one else would have let him rest for that time, except maybe Choji.

She shrugged off his gratitude, aware of his discomfort. "No problem. You looked dead on your feet. She didn't mention that her own teammates sometimes forgot to sleep, so she'd occasionally, 'accidentally' forget to wake them for their night watches.

"You've only got a few hours to explain your plan. It's your own fault for sleeping so long, though," she said as a warning before he complained.

Shikamaru stretched again, reaching forward to grab his pack. He hadn't eaten in several hours and he was ravenous.

"Meh, it's not that complicated. We're going in, you're gonna take out that guy, then we're gonna get out of there," he said as he took a bit of some dried beef that Choji's mom had been nice enough to give him.

"You're gonna need to be more specific than that, Shikamaru," Tenten said as she reached for her own pack. She'd been busy scouting the area and hadn't actually eaten herself.

She thought that he might have muttered 'troublesome' before answering, but chose to ignore it. She was used to his complaints by now, they'd been on several missions together, although she still wasn't used to how radically different from all from all of the other geniuses that she dealt with on a weekly basis.

Shikamaru began to explain his plan after finishing off his jerky.

"You're going to go in first. Change your hair so that you don't look quite so cute." Thankfully, Tenten didn't blush at being called cute. She was attractive enough, most kunoichi were. Shikamaru was again reminded how grateful he was not to have to bring Ino along.

"I don't really have any other suggestions for you. You're the kunoichi. You know how to do that part better than me." He shrugged to emphasize his point.

"You're gonna distract the target. Get him into a room alone. I figure that even if you suppress your chakra, he's gonna know that you're a ninja. Lie and say that you're a genin." He wisely chose not to mention that Tenten had pretty low chakra reserves. "He's an A-rank missing nin, after all. I'll wait in the room. Once you get him alone it's just my kagemane and then you kill him."

"How are you going to suppress your chakra?" She asked knowing well that his reserves were significantly higher than her own.

"No need. I'll actually be in the room next door. He'll sense me, but I'll have my own female with me. I'll just be another guy having fun."

"And what girl are you using?" Tenten asked suspicious. Shikamaru wasn't about to jeopardize the mission with just anyone being alone in that room.

Shikamaru actually squirmed so Tenten knew that he was uncomfortable with this part of the plan. "I'm planning on using a shadow clone under Naruto's famous err . . . sexy no jutsu."

Tenten had the grace not to laugh _too_ loudly with his announcement, as they were pretty close to their target village, but she couldn't help but let a snort escape.

"That's brilliant, Shikamaru!" She said actually enthusiastic. Shikamaru let a small smile escape. Yes, Tenten was probably the only girl in the village who could see the jutsu's usefulness without wanting to kill the creator.

Although, he figured that if he were using it as anything other than a mission she'd be just as indignant as the other kunoichi of Konoha.

"You really are a genius!" she said as she slapped him on the back. "You could just ask me to do it, though!" she said with a smile. "It's not a big deal. I can do one shadow clone. Hell, it'll make it easier to suppress my chakra since I'll be halved for a bit."

Shikamaru had of course thought of this, but he wasn't about to anger the kunoichi by suggesting that she leave him alone with a shadow clone for any amount of time. He was sure that Ino would have said something troublesome and Sakura would definitely have smacked him and told him to figure something else out.

"Yeah, thanks. That is better." Tenten smiled. She definitely had picked up on the fact that he would have thought of this sooner.

"So you're saying that I thought of something that you didn't?" she asked already knowing the answer.

"Meh, I just didn't want you being troublesome," Shikamaru admitted with a shrug.

She slapped him on the back again. He knew that she meant it to be a friendly tap, but it _really_ wasn't so light. He was pretty sure that she was stronger than him before this mission, but now she'd only confirmed it.

"You're a good guy, Shikamaru. And although you're not like the other geniuses who are pretty much asexual, I figure that you're smart enough to not try anything. And if not, well, I am the teammate and training partner of four of Konoha's other resident geniuses." She had sly look on her face, knowing full well that Shikamaru would be in way over his genius head if he tried anything.

"Peh," Shikamaru responded changing the subject. "Let me know when you're ready by dispelling your clone. That'll make it easier for me to know when to come through. I'll pick the rooms and keep them unoccupied. I'll have a hole drilled between them for my shadow jutsu before you get finished with the target. Everything should be pretty easy."

He had another thought that could potentially be a snag, though. "How long can your shadow clone last? You think that you can seduce the target within that time range?"

Tenten smiled, "You doubt me, Shikamaru?" She wasn't offended. Lots of people probably didn't think that she was capable of this sort of assignment.

He shrugged. "I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit worried. I've never seen you doing the female shinobi thing. Tsunade says that you can though, and I trust her. She'll know your abilities better than me."

Tenten smiled. "Thanks, Shikamaru. For your confidence. Don't worry. I can do this. It'll take me less than twenty minutes, time me if you want. My clone can last probably thirty before it'll dispel."

Shikamaru didn't bother to shrug. He did store that little piece of information away for later use, though. Time limit were always important on missons.

"Well, since the target should have arrived by now and I'm pretty well rested, you ready to find your newest conquest?" Shikamaru smiled, for once trying out a little banter with her partner. She made an even better teammate than he anticipated. Not only did he get to sleep, she'd easily agreed to the safer plan, and even seemed willing to accept his lazy shortcomings.

"He's already dead," Tenten said with a smile.


	7. Chapter 5

**There's kinda two stories here, that of Tenten and the enemy and Shikamaru and the clone. You can read both or just one to see find out how the plot's moving along! I personally think that Shikamaru and the clone is funnier. And I don't like Mizu. He's flat and boring, but he's supposed to be. He's an arrogant ass.**

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**Here's the first, the more serious and more storyish one. The next will be Shikamaru and the Shadow Clone. It'll hopefully be up a few hours after this, as it's already almost done.**

Chapter 5: Meeting with the Enemy

Dakuburu Mizu was, as Tenten could happily explain, an overconfident charmer. A typical former jonin of the the Village Hidden in the Sand, he was an average opponent for any jonin. Only his good looks and flattering personality made his stand out among the elite class, but there was nothing truly remarkable about him.

Unfortunately for the Hidden Sand, although they of course had their own shinobi force, Mizu would probably recognize any of their shinobi of jonin caliber. Any mission to assassinate him wouldn't have been terribly difficult for any ANBU, but Mizu was not a ninja worthy of an assignment from any of the Sand's very few ultimate ninja. With this knowledge at hand, the Kazekage graciously asked the Hokage to spare a couple of jonin to take care of his newest missing nin.

Although the Hokage could have assigned any jonin to the task, Gaara asked for subtly. Mizu liked to stay in civilian villages, providing for himself a barrier against flashy or destructive jutsu.

Shinobi should first and foremost be discreet, especially when one nation is doing a favor for another. The Sand wisely provided any information that they could on Mizu, including his frequented locations and personality traits.

The Hokage, in her gracious brilliance, chose one of her quieter shinobi, a Nara Clan shadow user, to destroy Mizu. She told him to take along a kunoichi, a diversion to allow the isolation of the nin.

Tenten was chosen as the perfect candidate, from Shikamaru's genius perspective, and she would have the honor of killing him. She was thankfully aware of his charming personality prior to her and Mizu's first and only meeting, as otherwise she may have approached him in the completely incorrect way, the typical manner of kunoichi seduction.

When Tenten walked into the little divey bar, she wasn't exactly sure what to expect. She wasn't intimidated,walking into a bar really couldn't compare to facing off against someone who could kill you, but rather felt slightly awkward. She'd never been to any of skivvy places in Konoha, only being seventeen, she wasn't actually allowed to go inside; and although as a shinobi she probably could have disregarded this rule, Tenten and her teammates really had little interest in alcohol.

In addition to not really wanting to drink, one of her teammates turned into an absolute lunatic whenever a single drop of liquor graced his lips. No matter that he might have been a prodigy of the Drunken Fist, no one in Konoha wanted to risk having their entire district destroyed so that Rock Lee could learn a style with little practicality; Tenten was digressing as all of these unimportant facts raced through her head.

She truly was confident that she could pull this off, especially after the initial awkwardness wore off. Even if Tenten wasn't the beautiful girl of grace and poise that Shikamaru's former genin teammate was, Tenten was a kunoichi and had listened to the same lessons from an early age.

It was an easy twilight when Tenten walked into the bar in Wind Country. She had dressed in typical kunoichi garb, which was essentially her normal outfit without a formal white gi. She didn't see the need to wear anything revealing, and with the information that she'd been given on Mizu, she figured that it wouldn't be necessary. The only bothersome change was her forehead protector; it was safely tucked away in her bag, but her head felt bare without it, especially since her typical buns were missing. Her hair was long, reaching to mid-back, and having it exposed was a definite hindrance.

Tenten wasn't used to fighting with her hair lose and silently hoped that everything would go according to plan. It would be a huge pain to cope with the flying strands while flinging weapons about, for as the Weapon's Mistress herself would happily attest, Tenten was always once for convenience, not appearance.

She knew that she looked good with her hair down, even Shikamaru had remarked upon this fact when he'd seen it. She didn't bother to tell him that he was probably one of the few people besides her teammates to ever see her unwind her hair. Hair really wasn't important to her, and she knew that her shadow using partner felt the same; she'd never his his topknot undone either.

Tenten walked like a kunoichi for the first time since those classes that she'd _really _hated, and sauntered over to the counter, scanning the room for her target and teammate.

Shikamaru was sitting in a corner, a place where there were more than enough shadows for him to stretch across the entire space, speaking with a blonde haired woman. Tenten didn't spare them more than a glace, already knowing how similar the blonde's face would be to her own.

She examined the other side of the room, apparently the more exciting area, as there were at least ten customers besides her target. Thankfully, her target was sitting at a table alone, and seemed to have been unsuccessful in acquiring a companion for the evening. This was of course probably due to the fact that he'd only been here for the last five minutes. Shikamaru and his 'date' had already downed their first drinks when Mizu took his own spot for the evening. Mizu was unaware that the pair had stepped into the place just moments before himself.

Tenten ordered a drink and patiently waited for the pale man to hand her a simple fruity thing that Shikamaru had told her Ino enjoyed. She hoped that it didn't taste too much like alcohol, as stomaching such a thing would only prove a distraction.

She leaned across the counter and allowed her eyes to settle on the man. Mizu was cute, just like his picture showed. He wasn't wearing a typical slashed forehead protector of missing nin, and she wondered just how low this guy was. Missing nin usually wore their former village symbol to show some last semblance of honor. They were traitors and admitted it. These thoughts didn't matter though, she had a job to do and it wasn't her position to question orders.

The bartender handed off the pink monstrosity, and Tenten took a tentative sip. Thankfully, it tasted like juice with a higher sugar to water ratio than normal. Good, she could handle this.

She paid the bartender quickly and walked over to her target. He must have noticed her watching him by now. He was a jonin level nin, after all.

"Hi," she said in the usual tone and manner that she treated everyone, "Can I sit here?" She was direct and to the point. She wouldn't hit on him heavily yet, just act like the normal girl she was.

Mizu glanced at the girl and graciously didn't do the foolish eye movements of typical males; he was a shinobi and could be more subtle. He'd probably already checked her out when she first entered the establishment. "Sure," he said sounding slightly interested and giving her a smile, "but you're going to have provide me with a bit of conversation." He was cute, and immediately flirtatious.

Mizu was an exceptional male specimen. His hair was light brown and spiked in that carefree way that takes ten minutes in front of a mirror to perfect. His face was angled, possessing a strong nose and jaw, with a perfect brow bone. His eyes were a liquidy blue that was enhanced by the lack of shadows below his eyes. He wore the clothes of a typical young and handsome civilian, not those of a ninja that she knew him to be. He was taller than average, but his build was still lean, perfect for a shinobi.

He wasn't suppressing his chakra, so Tenten figured that he wasn't actually trying that hard to blend in with the people here. She smiled at him again as she fell into the seat across from him.

"I'm happy to talk," she said with honesty; Tenten was nothing if not an excellent conversationalist. "I'm a kunoichi, as I'm sure that you could tell since I could feel your chakra before I even entered this place. I'm taking a vacation." The lies were easy for her, as she would only bend the truth a bit.

She was reclined in the chair, acting a part that she was born to play. Tenten was usually a pretty relaxed person, when not training of course.

"I figured," he said taking a sip of his drink, but immediately returning to staring into her eyes. Tenten wondered if she made an offer whether he would join her or not. He didn't seem threatened by her at all. He was confident in himself, probably as a shinobi and as a man; he didn't seem surprised that she would approach him.

She smiled at him again and put a teasing tone into her voice. "I won't ask where you're from if you return the favor." It was common for shinobi that happened upon each other to avoid that topic. There was a lot of bad blood between the villages, and rivalries as well as vendettas permeated any conversation between foreigners.

"Fair enough, but you're going to have to give me something else about yourself if you won't tell where you're from." He had copied her teasing tone, and appeared to be even more at ease than she first assumed. He could be trying to lure her into a trap, just as she was doing to him, though.

"Well what do you want to know? I'm happy to tell you anything, except village secrets of course. Not that I'm really privy to much of that." She leaned forward, giving the impression that she was very interested in whatever he wanted to say. A half smile was plastered on her face for the rest of the conversation.

"How about your name?" he said as he picked up her drink. "And what is this travesty that you're drinking?" he asked with a smile.

Shit. She couldn't drink that now. While holding the cup he could have used an innumerable amount of methods to compromise her body—jutsus or poisons being most prominent in her mind.

"Tenten," she said without missing a beat and stretching her hand across the table. "And you know that I can't drink that now, don't you?" She asked keeping the teasing tone. No way he believed her to be a fraud if he were doing something so incredibly obvious to try to compromise her. Even genins weren't that stupid, well, if they were as old as she was anyway.

He seemed unperturbed by her words. He'd anticipated it. He was testing her. He wanted to see if she'd say anything. A more subtle, more experienced ninja would have simply spilled the drink or found a way to avoid it for the rest of the conversation. Tenten was however, at the moment, just a simple, everyday, kunoichi. Maybe he'd take her for a high genin. She couldn't be sure.

"I'm Mizu, and don't worry about the drink. We'll let the bartender get you a new one. And I won't touch it, I promise." He shook her hand and told his real name. He was definitely buying her act.

He brought her drink to his lips and took a small sip. "Yeah, this is definitely disgusting. Perfect girl drink." Tenten was thrilled. No shinobi who was suspicious of his drinking partner would have taken that taste. She was in an excellent position.

"I don't really drink much," Tenten confessed as if telling a secret. "I am still underage." Both were perfectly true, and Mizu seemed to buy it. "I don't really need a new drink, especially if I am spending the evening with a potential enemy nin." Tenten made her voice sound flirty with the last statement. She didn't make it sound like a promise of sex, but just the potential for a fun time together.

He was an A-ranked jonin and if he were worth his salt, then he would definitely recognize the always reliable kunoichi technique of sexual promises. Just Tenten the normal girl was what she hoped he would see. Other girls would have been too obvious; this was a task that only girls subtle and simple, girls like Tenten were suited for.

"I'm not an enemy of your village," he said with good natured laughter. Tenten's face and positioning passed through surprised, affronted, and finally interested- backing away with eyes wide, and then moving closer with a scrutinizing look. He'd essentially said that he was a missing nin. She leaned forward again as if he were sharing some big secret.

"So what are you doing here then?" Any shinobi would ask that for his or her own personal information, but also for the intelligence of their own village.

"That I can't tell you," he tried to sound mysterious, but Tenten wasn't buying. She knew that he'd heard about a potential client who would meet him tomorrow at the hotel next door. She also knew that he'd already rented a room; Shikamaru already made sure Mizu's room would be next to theirs. Her partner was waiting for her signal before leaving to lie in wait.

Tenten showed Mizu a disappointed look before changing the subject. "Well, since we're pretty clear on the lack of trust from your end, we'll have to go from mine." She shrugged.

"You're not scared of me, Little Leaf?" he asked with a smile. Tenten put the appropriate amount of shock into her face.

"How'd you figure that?" she asked purposefully not confirming his suspicions. There was always a high chance that he'd guess her origins. It really didn't matter in regards to the plan.

He tried to look impressive, actually slouching in his chair and pretending like it were a humble feat, but obviously believing his deductions to be just quite astute. "You're not from Sand and Leaf is closest. You'll have to learn to watch your pocker face if you're ever going to get past chunin." He gave her a crooked grin.

"You're pretty good," she said sounding unimpressed. She didn't want him to believe her to be a simpleton. "But if you're so great, how come you're talking to me when you're a missing nin? Konoha could be looking for you." She was acting as the simple chunin trying to win back control of a conversation and it's direction.

He had a shit-eating grin on his face. He definitely believed he'd caught her.

"You know that I can take you. You knew before you sat down. And I know that _you_ know that I would win any fight. And you're loyal to your village. No way that you'd make a scene in Sand's territory without a _really_ good reason."

His logic was extremely flawed, but Tenten wasn't about to correct him. He'd based all of his information on her short conversation, perhaps chakra capacity, and, although she was loath to admit it, probably her gender.

"Maybe you can take me alone, but how do you know that I'm here without anyone to back me up?" She reacted as any good shinobi would in a situation of weakness; if all else fails, bluff and lie to protect yourself.

"Nah, there's only one other nin here in this village now with any significant reserves and that guy over there is busy with his blonde girlfriend," he gestured at Shikamaru to emphasize his point.

Tenten, in that brilliant moment of distraction, felt a slight tap on her shoe seven times. Shikamaru's shadow had stretched across the room to let her know how much time she had left on her little bet; thirteen minutes had already passed since she had made her clone. He must have been waiting for an opening to warn her. Mizu would take the sudden spike in chakra from the black-haired nin as a reaction to his attention, if he sensed the extremely small amount necessary for this particular technique. He would never suspect that Shikamaru had just used his active jutsu to signal Tenten.

He had no idea that she too was a jonin and that the guy chatting up the pretty blonde in the corner was actually her teammate. If there were a scene, the two of them could destroy this guy without a problem. Tenten just was supposed to avoid that scene; and make sure that the client that Leaf had used as a go-between believed Mizu's death unrelated to the Leaf or Sand Villages.

Tenten swung her foot in the direction that she knew Shikamaru's shadow to be, and gave her toe a little point. Shikamaru knew this signal and quickly got up to leave with his date, not looking at Mizu or Tenten. Let the guy think that Shikamaru was intimidated by him. The shadow user didn't care, nor did Tenten.

After that moment, Mizu's fate was sealed. Tenten knew Shikamaru and her shadow clone would be in position within minutes. She needed Mizu to invite her up to his room. She had his trust, so she just needed him to believe that she was interested. Once they managed to overcome that minor obstacle, he would graciously invite her back to his room.

The whole process of seduction actually took only eighteen minutes, including the five minutes that she and Shikamaru had been forced to wait between their separate entrances.

Another two minutes after entering Mizu's room, Tenten's clone was dispelled. Almost instantly Mizu was under Shikamaru's control. And just fifteen seconds following his initial capture, Dakuburu Mizu was dead.

**Another chapter to the plotishness. Just as a warning though, there isn't going to be an ultimate bad guy that Tenten is out to destroy. She's a normal kunoichi out to prove herself. That's her goal, unlike the other wack people roving around Naruto. Her greatest enemy is herself, but the conflicts outside individual missions will not all be internal. I'm trying to write external conflict between the characters.**

**I'm open to suggestions to reviewers if you think something should be changed. I love hearing what people have to say, even if it embarrasses me because I suck so badly. :D**

**Thanks for reviewing again DarkAnonymous! It makes me want to write when people say nice things :). It also helps that I'm in Indonesia and have nothing to do, of course.**

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**And I like this version of Tenten too, SuzuGamerGirl! I love it her all normalish. She's the only kunoichi who is like a real person. She isn't consistent, so she isn't flat and not just an exaggeration of female characteristics. I see her as the calmer, less reactive one. She certainly gets annoyed, but she doesn't freak out like Ino and Sakura . . . thank god.**


	8. Shikamaru and the Shadow Clone

**Not an Interlude, But Not Really a Chapter: **

**Shikamaru and the Shadow Clone OR Hanging with Shikamaru**

"So, Shikamaru, you really think that I can do this?"

Shikamaru looked at the woman in front of him, Tenten of no last name, the tomboy among the Konoha Twelve, the simple one, the calm one, the normal one; and he realized that life was just incredibly unfair.

The Tenten in front of him was intimidating. Actually, he really, really preferred the normal Tenten. This shadow clone was really freaking him out.

"What are you staring at?" she asked flipping the ridiculous blonde hair that she sported for the occasion. He'd cast the henge himself, but he really couldn't get over what he was seeing.

"Yo, Shikamaru! Answer!" he came back to reality with a start, trying to gain better control of himself. They had another four minutes before Tenten came into the bar, and he was trapped completely alone with this . . . Tenten, for now.

"You're pretty freaky looking, you know?" he turned away after saying that, missing the look that passed over the clone's face.

"Hey you ass!" she said kicking him under the table. "You're the one who cast the henge! If it looks weird it's your own fault." She tried not to turn red and huff. That wouldn't suit their play.

Shikamaru could have answered her, but it was just too troublesome. Yes, this was all his fault. _He_ figured that it would be a good idea to use a clone of Tenten. _He'd_ cast the low-level henge that had almost no chance of being detected. It was a perfect plan, except for the fact that he didn't realize how he would react.

Shikamaru was a genius, actually he went beyond normal genius, but he really, really hated his intelligence sometimes. He was currently using the reflection in the window to watch his target, while already having his shadows spread along the floor, but he was still had enough brain space left to hold a conversation and . . . observe the 'girl' in front of him.

"Look, Tenten, this is really weird for me right now," he looked at her for a moment, but that was enough to see her confused and frustrated face. He immediately returned to window watching.

"I can see that it's hard for you to look at me Shikamaru. What did you do? What'd you mess up in the henge?" she didn't sound angry, just annoyed, thankfully. She wasn't going to hit him when this was over. Maybe she'd be pissy on the way back, but at least she wasn't going to attack him.

"I didn't mess up. It's a slight henge. The hair was no problem and I changed your eye color and just added some angles to your face. It's enough of a difference that people might think that you and . . . Tenten were sisters." He still didn't face her.

"Then what's got you freaked out, Shikamaru?" Her teammate was refusing to look at or talk to her, and even if she weren't _really_ Tenten, that was frustrating.

He continued to stare at what looked like a spot on the table, but Tenten knew that he was watching the target. She guessed that he was using a reflection, although from her angle she might have a better view.

"We're supposed to pretend to be on a date, Shikamaru. The guy's gonna think that something's up if you keep staring at the table." Tenten was trying to be reasonable. This was ridiculous. Shikamaru wasn't going to compromise the mission over something that made him uncomfortable.

Shikamaru glanced at Tenten again, but immediately regretted it. She was right, but this was _hard_. He didn't want to deal with this mess. Troublesome mission. Troublesome woman.

OK, maybe it wasn't actually Tenten's fault, but he could still say that women were troublesome, even if she might just be the least troublesome around.

"It's troublesome . . . " he mumbled unable to actually describe what he was feeling.

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Just say what you need to say, Shikamaru. I'm not going to freak out or get mad. Whatever you're feeling can't possibly make me more upset than being ignored."

Shikamaru's hands were needed for his shadow justsu, or else he definitely would have stuffed them in his pockets. He looked into her blues eyes for the first time, trying to not get flustered. He knew that he was probably red by now. There was no way that he could prevent his body's reactions, no matter how brilliant he may be.

This was _troublesome._ "Tenten isn't attractive to me," he said hoping that she could infer the rest. Let her figure this out. He couldn't handle it. His view refocused and he was staring at Tenten, but not actually seeing her.

The girl actually giggled. Giggled. Tenten. Granted, he and she both knew that she did it to annoy him, but still; she _giggled_.

"Don't worry about it," she said with obvious humor in her voice. "Normal Tenten will be back in a bit." She was finding this extremely entertaining. Poor Shikamaru. He'd somehow, subconsciously, made the henge into what he liked. For the first time, the shadow user found himself attracted to Tenten. She wondered for a moment what she looked like, but figured that it wasn't really important. She could tease him about this on the way home, _after_ they'd finished the mission.

"Feh," he mumbled still not looking at her. He was again reminded why he was grateful that Tenten was not like the other girls. "Thanks."

"I'm not going to tease you, Shikamaru. This is a mission. Now is not the time to act like this is a joke," Tenten could imagine Ino using this situation to hang all over the poor guy. Even Sakura would probably have either smashed his face or screamed at him. Hinata . . . she probably would have passed out by now.

"You can look at me, Shikamaru. It's not that big of a deal. You're not really attracted to me. We both know that. I'm just a normal girl. Just Tenten Remember that, and I'm sure that you'll be fine."

Shikamaru's brilliant mind faltered at the word 'normal.' He was struck by the truth in what she'd said; Tenten, as strange as it seemed, really would have been the perfect girl for him.

Shikamaru remembered the unrealistic dream of his youth: have an average career, marry a normal girl—not too pretty or too violent, have two kids—a girl and a boy, live an average life, and die an average death.

None of those things were going to come true.

And he knew that.

But here in front of him, well not at the current moment, but maybe with the actual girl who had just walked into the dingy establishment, was the an opportunity to achieve that dream. And he didn't want it. He was rebelling against it. He was horrified at the idea of being attracted to this normal girl before him.

Life was really much too troublesome.

He wisely chose not to say anything and was grateful that Tenten kept quiet too. He held his drink and continued to monitor the situation. The clone seemed to do the same, not saying anything for several minutes.

"I've got another eight minutes to make this work, Shikamaru. Why don't you give me a sign? I don't wanna lose out on our little bet."

Tenten sounded much too bright for to be causing his frustrating thoughts. Maybe it wasn't her fault that she was average, but blame her he would.

Just a few seconds after the clone's outburst the target made a gesture in Shikamaru's direction. It was the perfect opportunity. "Feh. Fine." He did as clone requested, using his shadow to tap against the leg of her counterpart. The real Tenten seemed to have everything under control. The target was leaning toward her. He was obviously interested.

The normal girl thing apparently appealed to some people; just not his poor self.

The clone and he both caught Tenten's minor signal; she pointed her foot. "Let's go. She's got him. I'm better than I thought." He could hear the pride in the clone's voice. It was bit strange that she was proud of herself . . . when she hadn't actually done anything, but Shikamaru couldn't be bothered to think about that now.

He stood up abruptly, and Tenten was just a moment after him. He still wasn't looking at her.

"You're going to have to touch me or something. We're pretending to be a couple. Just put your hand on my back. We don't have to hold hands or anything." She was beside him and he was thrilled to discover that she still smelled like Tenten—metal and wood; the scent didn't appeal to him like her current look.

He put his hand at the shallow her back, but he didn't touch her; he wasn't sure how stable Tenten's shadow clones were. He led them out of the bar, opening the door as any gracious date would.

"You know, we can still talk, even if you don't look at me," she said as they continued on their route. "I'm not a big fan of silence, as I'm sure that you've noticed by now. You can just listen, if you want. Remember my wonderful training partners? They're excellent listeners, although it's debatable that they actually ever hear anything that I say with all that 'hning'." She rambled on, but Shikamaru was actually paying attention.

Shikamaru glanced at her, barely taking a peek, but even from her profile she still bore that radiant attractiveness that really, really annoyed him. She laughed obnoxiously and the spell was broken.

"I suppose that you do that too, right? Ino's a talker. Do you actually listen to her?"

Did she really need to ask about other blondes? She was expecting an answer though, so he better give one before got the wrong idea and assumed that he was like her teammates.

"She's troublesome, but she's more troublesome if I don't listen. She'd probably scream louder and louder until I were forced to listen if I didn't pay attention the first time." It probably helped that Ino was easy to look at too.

"Maybe the other geniuses listen too, then. You know, the other day Neji and I had a conversation and I think the longest sentence that he said was 'you're training with him.' Can you imagine that? I was trying to talk to him about things related to emotions, so I guess that really shouldn't be surprising."

Yeah, emotions were rough for Shikamaru too. Right now he was attracted to Tenten, physically at least. Normally he wouldn't even notice her. He should notice her, though, as she was the closest to his ideal as he would probably ever get. Yep, emotions really sucked.

"Heh, your other teammate makes up for all the conversation that Neji lacks. Lee talks enough for both of you and he's emotional enough to make Ino look normal," he said as he was skillfully able to follow her conversation and the thoughts of his own that were definitely not related.

"But Neji is the guy that I usually train with. I mean, we've been together for years. Shouldn't he be able to talk to me by _now_?" Shikamaru could handle this conversation. She wasn't being overly emotional, just a normal girl. Yeah . . . an average girl. Crap.

"It's too troublesome for us to do emotional stuff." If only that were true. "And guys avoid it." When they can.

They'd reached their room and Shikamaru walked in first, waiting for the clone to follow. He didn't want her touching the door. It was a simple place, sporting a bedside table, a dresser, a bed, and a television, as they really didn't need anything. The pair should be out of the town before morning. The manager downstairs would find the target's body tomorrow, but since the target was dying of 'natural causes' he probably wouldn't even remember the two people that had rented a room for just a single day.

Shikamaru immediately collapsed to the bed, walking right passed the clone, carefully avoiding any contact with her.

The real Tenten hadn't come up the stairs for their floor yet, so they had a bit of time. He wanted to relax before snagging this guy in his kagemane. He'd used a lot of chakra when probing the bar. He didn't think that this guy was at such a level that he'd be able to break the hold within the short span that it would take Tenten to kill him, but Shikamaru wanted to be sure. He didn't like surprises.

Shikamaru had just closed his eyes when he heard Tenten make another comment. He tried not to get annoyed. She wasn't doing anything wrong, but he was lazy. Talking was troublesome, especially when you are attracted to the one speaking and emotionally confused as hell.

"Neji's got the emotional capacity of a toaster, on a good day, but at least Sasuke's got a sense of humor."

Sasuke had a sense of humor? Shikamaru didn't particularly care to dwell on what made Sasuke laugh, but he couldn't help the possibilities that immediately entered his genius brain.

Sasuke either liked Tenten as a good friend, considering that he only ever became emotional with his two teammates, or he liked Tenten as more. As more would be very troublesome indeed.

He was about to give a reply to when the clone and the boy both heard clumsy footsteps coming up the stairs. There were two of them, and it sounded like they were busy.

"Did you plan to make out with the target?" he asked for clarification as he sat up and took a step toward the wall. He could see into the room through the hole that he'd made earlier, but the couple still hadn't entered.

Tenten shrugged and responded to his question, "No, but if he initiated it, then I wouldn't push him off. It's the mission, after all. He's supposed to think that I'm interested in him."

They head a slight stamping; Tenten had kicked the wall hard enough to tell them that she was outside, but not hard enough to alert the target.

Shikamaru continued to look into the room, waiting for the pair outside to enter.

There was a minute of waiting, with both the clone and Shikamaru listening to the sounds coming from outside. The situation was awkward, very awkard. Some guy was making out with the girl that Shikamaru was alone with, but Shikamaru wasn't really alone with said girl, as she was only a clone. It was weird, so they waited in silence, watching as the couple enter through the spy hole.

Two handsigns later, and the clone was gone, the target was trapped, and Tenten had shoved a syringe in the guy's neck. Shikamaru would never admit to _anyone_ how reviewed he felt when the clone dispersed. The whole situation was just awkward and weird.

He walked outside his room and into the one where Tenten stood with the empty shell of their enemy. She had a little smile of her face and he knew that she was definitely privy to all of the information that she'd gathered as the clone. He was scared. The mission was over and there was nothing stopping her from questioning him incessantly.

"So," she said with a knowing smirk, "which blonde are you into?"

Yes, Tenten was definitely an average girl; and he was probably not going to enjoy the trip home. Even average girls were trouble.


	9. Promotion Night

How life will play us all.

Neji stared. Staring wasn't anything particularly new to the Hyuuga, but staring at the newly proclaimed jonin Tenten (insert last name here) was.

Tenten's team (Gai and Lee, not the Hyuuga) had decided to take her out for dinner following her recent promotion, but dinner in the establishments of Konoha almost always meant alcohol, sake to be precise, hence and why Neji Hyuuga was staring.

After a few hours, Tenten (insert last name here) had consumed approximately enough alcohol to cause a small elephant to keel over (the bartender had needed assistance carrying the several boxes of hard liquor from the basement to Team Gai's table).

Neji had never seen Tenten drink. He had never even seen her consume traditional wine; she'd always claimed that wine made her feel womanly. Neji had never considered that she might just prefer stronger alcoholic beverages.

Lee, being the fool that he was, continued to cheer Tenten on, while Gai had a smug look of pride on his face. Neji didn't say anything.

Tenten did not look phased in the slightest as she stared down the older, taller, more muscular, more experienced, more . . . slouched, sloshed, slurring jonin of Mist, while Neji couldn't stop staring at Tenten. He had known that she was strong, he had trained with her after all, but this was just strange and horrifying. Both of his old teammates apparently became monsters whenever alcohol entered their systems.

When the visiting ninja from Mist had appeared and called Tenten a 菟athetic excuse for a jonin,Tenten already had about five drinks in her system; frighteningly, they'd only been in the restaurant for twenty minutes.

Tenten, the well-adjusted teammate, the one who balanced Neji's stoicism with Lee's exuberance, had raised her eyes from the greasy mass of slop that she'd insisted on ordering, and her face had faded from a true smile, into an evil smirk complete with squinted eyes, ever so slowly. She had looked at the jonin, up and down very slowly, still saying nothing, and then completely calmly said, 展ere you insulting my abilities? Because if you were, then I must tell you that I will rip out your intestines through your sliced throat. And don't worry about the impossibility of that act, as I can assure you from experience that your meters of intestine will come out through your severed trachea. I had to do it once, a moronic Mist-nin not unlike yourself had seen fit to swallow a key that I needed. It actually took him several minutes to die since I didn't sever the head completely, and allowed his brain to keep processing. I occasionally wonder what he was thinking, since I stared into his eyes as he died. I'm not very skilled in medical ninjustu, one of my few flaws which I would accept criticism for, but I do have enough talent to keep victims alive as long as I need."

She then turned away from the Mist jonin, maintaining her smirk for only a few moments before it faded back into a true smile for her teammates. She acted as if nothing had happened, and Gai and Lee didn't even seem to notice. Neither had jumped to her defense (an extreme surprise) and both just continued with their meal as if their fairly calm and fairly rationale teammate had not just threatened another jonin with some frightening form of murder that not even Neji had ever considered.

The Mist jonin must have seen fit to return to his own table, although Neji could still feel his killing intent drifting toward Team Gai. Neji brushed off the slight, preferring instead to focus on his teammate. She had gone back to eating, chatting, and pounding down drinks.

Neji didn't like surprises. He actually hated surprises with a passion only rivaling his hate of fate, as such, he hated seeing someone that he had believed complete in his assessment, do something unexpected.

He'd tried to return to the conversation, answering questions with his monosyllabic responses, but he was distracted and a few times didn't respond at all to his teammates questions. Tenten had drunk an entire three bottles of sake, four bottles of some other 砥ltra potentbeverage, and another sixteen beers. Tenten, and by association and the lack of response, Gai and Lee, were hiding something from him.

After she finished her last drink, Tenten calmly excused herself and left for the bathroom. Neji finally had moments in which to question his teammates, all he needed to do was intercept her on her return, but he noticed the Mist jonin following Tenten. The killing intent had abated, but Neji could not see any good interaction taking place between the newest jonin of Konoha, and the Mist-nin.

He'd made a move to stand, when Gai had firmly grasped Neji's arm from across the table, without even pausing in his story to Lee. Gai and Lee were still physically stronger than Neji, and Gai easily pulled Neji back into the booth without a word.

Neji scowled at his sensei, trying to force the man to tell him what was going on through sheer strength of will. Gai ignored the stare, not even releasing Neji's arm until Tenten sauntered back into view with the Mist-nin arm-in-arm.

Tenten returned to her seat next to Lee, and the Mist-nin, much to Neji's displeasure, sat next to the silent brooder.

"Lee, Gai-sensei, Neji,Tenten began with a deeper voice than Neji recalled her ever using, 鍍his is Mizu. He just asked to join us for the evening to celebrate my promotion!

Neji once more watched Tenten's face morph. Gone were the harsh lines and toughness of the kunoichi, in their places were the finesse and softness of a woman. She touched the man in front of her, stroking his face, his hand, and unless Neji were sorely mistaken, his leg from beneath the table.

Neji had sat back and observed. He'd watched Tenten and the Mizu guy drink together, with Tenten slowly becoming more and more flirtatious. He'd seen her pinch , lick, and kiss the Mist-nin's cheek, and do several unknown things beneath the table. Lee and Gai hadn't reacted to any of this at all, unless cheering on the impromptu drinking contest counted, but Neji, poor Neji had wanted desperately to escape from the restaurant. He'd kept his eyes on the faces of Lee, Gai, and occasionally Tenten, avoiding looking anywhere else. Only Gai-sensei's earlier grasp on his arm told Neji that something else was going on.

Mizu had drunkenly reached forward once more to pat the cheek of a sultry Tenten, when he had slumped forward and not lifted himself back up. Tenten had reached forward then, touched the Mist-nin's neck for a moment, before slumping forward herself. Neji hadn't been swift enough to stop her from falling, but Lee and Gai had easily caught her before she had slid out of the booth.

"Yosh, our lovely flower of a teammate has passed out from too much libations!Lee had shouted in despair. 敵ai-sensei, we'll have to return her home ourselves!"

"Yosh my wonderful student! Let us return our lovely flower to her home!The two green-clad men had seemed much too calm and . . . rational than Neji knew them to be. He followed them as they sped across the rooftops, expecting the two green beasts to head toward Tenten's home, only feeling mildly surprised when they had ended up at Konoha's hospital. Something was going on, and the Hokage's presence at the hospital entrance was a welcomed relief.

Lee dropped down, right in front of the Hokage, following Lady Tsunade into the bleak and semi-dark halls of the hospital.

"How'd she do, Gai?Lady Tsunade asked without looking back.

Gai's enthusiasm had returned for real, as he shouted far too loud for a near empty hall way. 添osh! Our beautiful flower of youthful exuberance has battled and slain her first foe as a jonin! We must have another celebration to celebrate her youthful triumph! If we do not, then I will . . . Neji blocked out the rest of what he had to say and whatever Lee shouted in reply. They reached a room in the far corner of the hospital, where Lee gently laid Tenten down before he and Gai continued on their youthful rant.

Lady Tsunade stepped forward and spread her hands over Tenten as an all too familiar green chakra spread out over Tenten. 鏑ady Tsunade,Neji asked, trying very hard not to disrupt whatever the Hokage was doing, 殿m I to understand that Tenten was assigned to kill that Mizu from Mist?"

She did not pause in her jutsu before replying, 添es, but you weren't there for Tenten's jonin trials. You missed that bit. Mizu was not from Mist. He was a missing-nin from Sand. He joined Mist and was giving away village secrets. Sand couldn't kill him without an international incident and unless there was an 殿ccident,there was no way to avoid a fight. Tenten did Gaara a favor by killing the bastard. His brother, that puppet-guy, asked Tenten to take out Mizu during the matches. She'd asked my permission, which I had hastily given (it was always good to have a favored owed from a Kazekage) and come up with the plan 's chakra slowly faded away, leaving Tenten looking peaceful on the bed. 溺izu will never wake up from his overzealous drinking binge. Official reports will state that he killed himself; unofficial will take note of Tenten's jutsu for alcohol transfers. It's an A-class secret, so keep your mouth Hokage finished and removed her hands before transferring her attention back to everyone in the room."

"Tenten is fine,she declared to the three men. Lee and Gai had stopped momentarily in their insane tirades about youth and flowers, and beauty to listen to the Hokage. 鉄he'll need some rest after that jutsu, though. Nothing's wrong except a bit of chakra depletion. She can go home in the Hokage walked out of the room without another word. It was far too late, and the Hokage was clammering for some alcohol herself.

Lee and Gai-sensei followed shortly after, leaving with far too loud goodbyes and congratulations for a resting Tenten.

Neji stayed behind to watch Tenten until she awoke. He decided to never miss another momentous occasion in Tenten's life again; Neji hated surprises, especially anything related to his female teammate.


End file.
